As I stand by the graveside
I wonder what she would have looked like today
If she were still alive.
Would her hair be completely white?
Would her hair have been short?
Or maybe she would have had a perm in it.
Would her face have shown the lines of time?
Would her neck sag?
Would she still be fat and sassy?
Or would she be skinny
With atrophied muscles?
Would her mind still remember things?
Or would she have lost her memories
Of days gone by and loved ones
Lost to the sands of time?
Would she still have been able to walk?
Or would she have to use a walker or cane,
Or be confined to a wheelchair
And allowing the wheels to be her legs.
Would she still call me on the phone
And demand that I come see her
Or take her out to lunch?
Alas, I will never know these things,
As she was only 66 when she passed away.
Taken by a returning cancer,
I prayed that if it were her time to go
That she would go quickly and not suffer too much or too long.
My prayer was answered.
As I stand by the graveside now
I wonder what my children think about me.
Do they love me? They have a funny way of showing it.
Will they in years to come
Remember me as the mother
Who did the best she could to raise them right?
Will they think of me as beautiful?
Worthy of their love and affection?
Only time will tell.